AzJade[dot]Com

Born in Denver, Colorado, we moved to Phoenix, Arizona when I was 5 years old. I kicked and screamed the whole way sure that the cowboys and indians would get us as soon as we pulled into town. Of course, when you’re 5 years old, you don’t have a whole lotta say about where your parents move you to.

Thus, the beginning of Jade as you know and love her today!

I am the mother of 3 beautiful (albeit hellatious) children that are the light of my life.
I am married to an amazing man, whom, took on this rowdy bunch to be his own. I often wonder if he’s got all his marbles.

I rarely spell check or edit my blog posts, so if you’re one who gets all bothered by that, please don’t tell me about it. I already know. The way I see it, this isn’t going to the printing press anytime soon. Just like a redneck who can clean up well when headin’ out to a swanky restaurant, I sure know how to spell (or at least spell check) when the need arises.

I am a writer, a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a best friend, and crazy. Go ahead, ask anyone, they will tell you. I am crazy. I want to own llamas and a bed and breakfast in Montana. Someday I will.
I am loud and can be obnoxious. I speak my mind. Somtimes I curse too much, drink too much, smoke too much, but I’m always a woman to HIM.

I am a Gemini, 100% true to form. I change my mind a lot, living in this world of duality, so you’ll just have to bare with me and know that not any given day with me will be the same. Be prepared to be kept on your toes and hoppin’! I love to really enjoy life, and enjoy those around me, so if I start a food fight at the dinner table, I’d advise you to simply join in rather than fret about a mess. Warm water and a little soap will clean up anything.

I have a touch of OCD that shows it’s ugly face in a couple of very specific ways in my life. While, it used to be a lot worse, I’ve finally given in to the fact that there are just some things I must accept. Like, it takes me 30 minutes at least to tie my shoes. Each side must be placing even pressure on my foot or I can’t leave until it is. (I hate shoes and never wear them unless I leave the house. Depending upon where we are going, the shoes will come right off once we get to our destination) I brush my teeth no less than 5 times a day, to the dismay of my dentist. Yes, one can brush their teeth too often! It’s wreaking havoc on my gums. I wash my face almost as much as I brush my teeth, and I have a major addiction to lotion. Facial lotions, hand lotions, body lotions, feet lotions. I have stashes of lotions for every part of my body stratigically placed throughout the house so no matter where I am at, if a fit for lotion arises, there is always some within immediate reach. I must moisterize constantly! I sweep my kitchen floor, on average, three times a day. Since I refuse to wear shoes, I can feel every tiny dirt molecule under foot and it drives me up a wall. Must.Sweep.Floor. Every single bauble in my house has it’s place. I can tell if someone moved that tiny wolf statue even if it’s only out of place a little bit. Everything in and outside of the house must be symetrical as well. All photos on the wall in relation to the furniture, in relation to the nick-nacks and so on and so forth. Symetry is important and if something is “off”, I will spend hours just staring at it trying to figure out what it is and how to fix it. I cannot rest if there is not symetry.

I am a domestic diva in disguise. I walk softly and carry a big vacuum cleaner. My house is always clean, even with 3 4 children under the roof. I lean toward deep greens, deep blues, burgandy’s and taupes, giving my house a more casual/elegant feel to it. Plants are everywhere, inside and out, as gardening is one of my favorite pastimes and it keeps me grounded. No pun intended there. There is just something about having your hands in God’s soil to quiet your soul. I love to cook and have a kitchen full of snotty appliances and gadgets that would make even Martha Stewart jealous. Dinner is at 6pm sharp!

I am the mom that you’ll see hangin’ toward the back of the crowd, just watching. I’ll be the one wearing a ratty t-shirt with my hair in a bun. In the winter you’ll find me in my fuzzy slippers wherever I go. I don’t wear makeup all that often, I find it’s a waste of my time and causes me to break out like a teenager more than eating chocolate does! For as frumpy as I make myself sound, please note that I clean up very well and you’d never even know it was the same person. I am just picky about when and for whom I clean up!

Laughter is a natural part of my life, and a big part. If you can’t laugh at yourself, then what else in the world is so funny? I love to make other’s laugh as well, even when they don’t want to. It changes a persons entire demeanor once their gut begins to contract with the giggles. How can you have a piss poor attitude if you’re laughing about it? Besides, laughing burns more calories than pouting.

Over the years I’ve received a lot of questions regarding life in Arizona. For those of you who have never been here, or anywhere near the West Coast, I bring to you a list of FAQ’s and answers to ease your imaginations and give you an insight into this sometimes barren, sometimes beautiful, most always way too hot, state.

Let the questions begin!

FAQ’s about Arizona.

1) Are there Tumbleweeds everywhere?
Yes and No.
In the more rural areas, one is sure to find tumbleweeds blowin’ across the desert landscape.
In the urban areas,  however, we aren’t so lucky. The only things we get blowing across the landscape are bad drivers.

2) Do you have cowboys and indians?
Um. Sure! Rawhide is an authentic 1800’s town set in Scottsdale. You’re bound to see some great lookin’ cowboys there! Or, try one of our better “Cowboy” bars in town. You’re sure to get your drool on.
As for the Indians, we have ‘em. Lots of ‘em. They don’t live in http://www.azjade.com/images/tipi3.jpg”>tepees and they don’t ride around with bows and arrows. They pretty much just run the casinos and the ski resorts. They won’t bite.

3) Is it hot?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Of course it’s damn hot! It’s the desert!
The hottest recorded day in Phoenix was on June 26, 1990 and the temp. was 122 degrees!
But, hey, it’s a Dry Heat!
What do you think, is that hot enough for ya?

4) Is there dirt everywhere?
Yes. Even if you live in the midst of the city, the dust and dirt is carried through the air, hence coming in through your vents and landing all over your furniture. In order to keep my house dusted and looking clean at all times, I must dust every single day. However, living out in the middle of the desert, the dust and dirt is obviously worse and I feel so sorry for those who must deal with it.

5) Do you see Gila Monsters and Wolves a lot?
I don’t see Gila Monsters so much, no. The Gila Monsters live more in the southern part of the state, like Tuscon and such. We don’t have wolves, we have coyotes, and yes, we see those quite a bit. Especially since with the housing boom, more and more building is going on in their natural habitat. They are beginning to learn eating habits from garbage cans and such, so sightings of coyotes even within the cities is growing. Another animal that we are beginning to see more frequently are Bob Cats. Wow, those little suckers are evil!

6) Do you get tired of all the sunshine?
It sounds crazy, but YES! It would be so perfect if we got a little more rainy days around here mixed in with the constant sunshine. Besides, the rain helps to keep the dust levels at a minimum.

7) How do you stay cool when the summers are so hot?
You either swim, or don’t leave the house. If you must get out of the house for a while, you swim. It’s that simple. There is no other way to stay cool around here in the summertime.

Do you have trees, or only cacti in the desert?
We have trees. Of course, loads of cacti, but you’ll find trees too. Our trees aren’t as green as other places in the country. Ours are sort of a dirty green due to lack of water in the desert. We do have a lot of different kinds of trees that will grow in arid regions that are pretty trees. We don’t have many deciduous trees, so when you come across one you cherish it. Having leaves fall off of the trees is the only real way that you can tell if it’s fall around here. Seasons don’t change much.

9) You say you love to garden. Can you plant flowers in the desert, or do you have to just plant cacti?
Amazingly enough, there is a wide variety of flowers that one can plant in this region. Because we offer long seasons of mild weather and sunshine, the colors of the flowers are vibrant and amazing! Plants that normally have a “blooming season”, bloom year round in these parts, like roses. We have the most amazing rose farm just outside of Glendale, as a matter of fact. To garden in Arizona, however, takes some research and a lot of trial and error on your part. While they ship plants to certain regions based on their hardiness, there is no growing guides, time frames, or gardening calendars that fit our desert climate. We have had to create our own gardening guides and get very creative with it. However, one can successfully grow everything from bulbs to vegetables in the desert. Micro-climates are the secret, along with proper plant grouping to ensure survival.

10) Do you have to leave the state to find cooler weather?
Not at all. That is the beauty of Arizona! We can drive just two hours north and hit beautiful mountain country and even snow in the winter. Arizona affords mostly desert conditions, however, it’s just a hop,skip, and jump from dusty desert to beautiful tree filled mountains with spectacular views, great weather with actual seasons, and a totally different atmosphere. We are lucky in that way!

If you have any questions that you’d like to ask me, please do so! Just //';l[1]='a';l[2]='/';l[3]='<';l[4]=' 109';l[5]=' 111';l[6]=' 99';l[7]=' 46';l[8]=' 108';l[9]=' 105';l[10]=' 97';l[11]=' 109';l[12]=' 103';l[13]=' 64';l[14]=' 101';l[15]=' 100';l[16]=' 97';l[17]=' 106';l[18]=' 122';l[19]=' 97';l[20]='>';l[21]='\"';l[22]=' 109';l[23]=' 111';l[24]=' 99';l[25]=' 46';l[26]=' 108';l[27]=' 105';l[28]=' 97';l[29]=' 109';l[30]=' 103';l[31]=' 64';l[32]=' 101';l[33]=' 100';l[34]=' 97';l[35]=' 106';l[36]=' 122';l[37]=' 97';l[38]=':';l[39]='o';l[40]='t';l[41]='l';l[42]='i';l[43]='a';l[44]='m';l[45]='\"';l[46]='=';l[47]='f';l[48]='e';l[49]='r';l[50]='h';l[51]='a ';l[52]='<'; for (var i = l.length-1; i >= 0; i=i-1){ if (l[i].substring(0, 1) == ' ') output += "&#"+unescape(l[i].substring(1))+";"; else output += unescape(l[i]); } document.getElementById('eeEncEmail_3l4wa921af').innerHTML = output; //]]> “>email me your question and I will answer as soon as possible! I will post your question, answer, and name here.

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