Mar 30 2006
Dear _____ Elementary School,
Please forgive my brain fart today. Imagine my surprise as I pulled in to drop my precious kindergartener off for her 2 1/2 hours of educational instruction only to find nobody there! The playground was eerily quiet, the usual collection of expensively dressed mothers were not standing in their usual places gossiping their usual gossip were not even around. There were no sounds of small voices filled with the excitement of seeing their friends again for the first time in 24 hours.
Apparently I had forgotten to grab my stack of little purple sticky notes and a sharpie mini in order to write myself a note and stick it squarely on my forehead when my child handed me the peice of paper stating that Wednesday, March 29 2006 would indeed be a half day at school. We did not recall this little tid bit of information until it was too late and school had been let out for the day. An hour prior to our arrival. Yes, I’d even had my coffee that day.
Please understand, that due to this situation, I will not be able to, in good conscious, accept the nomination for the Mother of the Year Award. It should go to a mother who has her sticky notes organized and faithfully gets her child to school at 10:05am as per the half day schedule.
I will be there on time tomorrow for my conferences. Please go easy on me! I will cry in class if you give me a referral to the Principal’s office. I might even begin to shake uncontrollably. I am fragile, you know.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Dumbass
(Bean’s Mom)
p.s.
Did I mention the fact that we did at least show up?
p.p.s.
This is in no way related to my having drank drunk slammed a giant frozen margarita while on the Zoo field trip. I got over that buzz weeks ago. Just so you know. kthanks.
