Yes. I am in love with this pretty phone on it’s pretty little pink case. Not sure I need much else. K. Skoes. A new pair of shoes someday. 

Hot damn I am so easily amused. Ok. She needs a name. I need to think of something soon.

I may or may not even write it on her with rhinestones.

Shaddup.

I have heard quite a bit of chatter regarding these little lovelies. All of the information unbeknown to I, as I have never seen one in the wild before. Until now!

Apparently, they are protected in a lot of areas and are very expensive at the florist to purchase. I happen to be blessed enough to have many many of them lining my front yard! I caught one blooming the other day and immediately fell in love.

Make A GLOWING TOMATO ! – The top video clips of the week are here

* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can never be pregnant.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* The world is your urinal.
* You never to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
* You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
* People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* One mood all the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You only have to shave your face and neck.
* You can play with toys all your life.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
* You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
* You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!!

Can you believe it? I saw 2 hitchhikers today. I don’t ever see hitchhikers and was shocked that there were not only 2 in one day, but any out there at all in this day and age. That is so, 70′s.

Then, top that off with the fact that there is a prison right up the road from where they were doing their hitchhiking. Um. Yeah. If you were on fire dude, I wouldn’t stop. Just sayin’.

Is that utterly rude of me? Who stops for those folks these days? If you know of anybody who has stopped and picked one up, or have yourself, tell me. I want to hear about it. I mean, I would think that somebody picks up hitchhikers still or they wouldn’t walk the street with their thumbs out if they knew without a doubt that nobody would stop, right?

Maybe I am just naive.

Started the walkin’ tonight. No rain, the weather was perfect, the temperature was beautiful and the fireflies entertained me along the way. I am really enamored with those little things. I thought the romance would wear off after the first year. Nope. I get all giggly and fluttery inside when I see them blinking in the fields and yards at dusk. It’s still fairly early too, so there’s not as many out there as there will be in about a month. Squee!

I am anxious to get to the jogging stage. I am so determined to rid myself of this fat. I put on my favorite pink sweat pants today and caught a glimpse of myself in the long wardrobe mirror at the top of the stairs at one point.

Oh. My. Frikkin’. Gawd.

I have one of those cottage cheese asses. The kind that they take pictures of in Walmart (shit of it is I had *just* gotten home from Walmart when this occurred) and post on that website with some snarky headline I find myself giggling at from time to time.

Ugh.

Ok, so I need a good pair of running shoes that aren’t going to break my wallet. Any suggestions?

Son: Hey mom, is it all right if I am a little late to school this morning?
Me: Why?
Son: Because I literally have nothing to wear. I need to stick something in the washing machine.
Me: 0_O

Yes. My 15 year old washes his own clothes. Or not.

He has all afternoon after school and all evening until bedtime.
He has all day saturday, all day sunday.

Every free and waking moment the child is off with his buddies, snuggling on the couch with his girlfriend. No, obviously not doing any laundry while there are no clean clothes in his room.

Really?

Next, I hear him on his cell phone…..

Son: Hey, are you at xxxx’s house?
Son: ….pause…..
Son: Oh, k, cuz I was just wanting to get my jeans from you.

Really?

That’s right. I said it. I meant it.

The part you don’t see is that I am sitting here with my make-up mirror facing the computer screen with my own face reflecting within the shot. Don’t believe me? Learn to visualize, mmmk?

So, to you; Thanks neighbor for your recent registration and subscription to my little place of heaven! I know, we haven’t formally met, but, let me just say it’s nice to meet you! I am glad to have you aboard.

Next, to YOU. Your user registration has been deleted. That is all.

I usually don’t go around deleting users, at least not as a general rule, but come on. When your user name is htpaJa8elllowpwldmthal or anything remotely close to, expect deletion. I’m just sayin’.
If you are someone I would rather stab my eyes out with an unsharpened pencil rather than let inside of my home, expect deletion. That really should be an obvious one, but, alas, I cannot assume that Captain Obvious is always on duty. Hence my explanation. You know, just in case.

‘Spose I need to make a habit of browsing user registrations every now and again in order to delete the cave trolls and make room for the people who matter!

And in other news……

Another day of training under my belt today! I have one more day and then I will be a fully functional employee earnin’ my keep the way God intended! I can’t tell you how excited I am. It is so nice to finally have a job that fills me with excitement every day. One that, when I am done with the day and heading home to my family I feel proud about. One that make me feel as though I have accomplished something each and every day.

Not only that, but I am learning so much. My leadership skills are growing. My intellect is growing. My brain is actually growing. I wouldn’t kid you. I can actually feel it! No lie!

I know, right?

Those whom have known me for any length of time are busy picking their jaws up off the floor right now.

Let’s give ‘em a sec to get composed, shall we?

……. ……. ……. ……. ……..

Ok, that should be good enough, sheesh!!

Anyhow, I am really happy. I am content in life. I am happy in love, I am satisfied in my job, and I am strong in self.

I don’t think it gets any better than that.

Ok, maybe millions of dollars in expendable cash, a small island and a new puppy.

Yes.

It sure takes a real man to behave the way you do. I am sooo jealous of you. I wish that I could be your bitch. I would love to know that you were going to cheat on me the way you cheated on your wife. I would LOVE to go to bed every night knowing that I was laying next to a spineless, dickless squid such as yourself. I would know then, and only then, that I were the luckiest woman on the earth and all beings, human and not, should envy the ground that I walk on. That all those around me would bow at my feet, anoint them with oils and bathe me with their silken scarves. I can only think to slit my wrists, that I am not worthy of basking in your glory.

Bite me. You want to bring me in, lets dance bitch.

They’ve already been chewn down to the bits.

I woke this morning, healed a couple of instances (although am really tired of pug’in with 6 yr olds, jest sayin’), made bacon and blueberry pancakes, cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed out the refrigerator, wiped down the walls, vacuumed & dusted the living room, vacuumed the kitchen (yes, it’s carpeted *ugh*) and started laundry. After breakfast I vacuumed the stairs ( I *really* hate that), cleaned the bathroom, cleaned & vacuumed the bedroom and am now waiting to switch and fold laundry so I can run some more.

*Breathe*

I believe I am working out my nervous energies. I am nervous for tomorrow, but in a good way. Nervous excitement I suppose.  It feels good. To be excited about a tomorrow. It’s going to be rough sleeping tonight, and waking in the morning full of delight rather than loathing will be a welcomed switch.

I have to decide yet what I am going to wear for my first day in my new position. Don’t eye roll. It’s a HUGE deal, the clothing, as it’s the first impression and it needs to count. Am feeling the pressure. It feels damned good too!

I am going to thrive, I just know it. Now, since I’ve cleaned everything to clean, I need to figure out what I am going to do between folding loads of laundry to keep my mind busy. Maybe I’ll just have to pug with some more 6 yr olds and blast their asses for their idiopathic ways.

Yeah.  

I got mahself a new shiny new job! It’s an up in position, for me. I suppose some wouldn’t consider middle management an up, but when you’re coming from the very bottom rung, sometimes even further down than that run depending on the day, it’s an up. To me, it’s a stepping stone. One can’t go forward through the muck without such things as stepping stones. I am completely thrilled, totally excited, a little frightened – but I think that fright will be a good thing and make me even better than I anticipate.

It’s at a different bank than the one I am currently working as a part time peon. I will be Assistant Manager at this new bank, which is also located about 15 minutes closer to my house, saving me time on the drive, gas, wear and tear on my car….etc.  The pay is ridiculously better, but, that’s not saying much as I would be turning cartwheels over anything right now since I am getting paid about the equivalent of a kernel of corn a day.  I just don’t think I could be more ecstatic than I have been all week.

This will be my last Wednesday ever in my current position. Squeeeeee!

On that note, I am taking Wednesday and created a WoW wednesday. Yes, I play Wow. Yes, I am growing an addiction. It’s a mere slight appendage right now, but it has potential.  This is my main me. This is also me. I have a couple of other me’s too that I am bringing up, but they aren’t quite ready for the public just yet. They are still a little shy.

So, I found this while perusing the internets today, thought I’d share on this W0W Wednesday. Enjoy! Have a great hump day y’all!