Celebration turned to Grief

Tequila, rum, Cosmos, beer. Free flowing. Laughter, music, friends, family.Free flowing. Steak, home made potato salad, cheese dip, salsa, corn on the cob. Free flowing. Shake and stir. Add, one part miscarriage. Tears.Free flowing.Ok, so, someone is going to kill me for entering this in a public forum, but, this is how I am going to deal with the loss, so, DEAL WITH IT!My brother, eldest of the bunch, married last year, is suffering the worst pain one could ever suffer. His wife miscarried today. I cannot begin to explain the hurt that follows such a trauma, especially to those two. I have lost a child before, and although the Gods that be granted me three very healthy children, I do know of what they are going through. I just wish to God there were a magic eraser for this......My father, a man of few words and even fewer emotions, cried. All I could do is put my arms around him and hope that I was offering some sort of comfort during a time when there is none. I made the phone call I felt was necessary, and I began my own grieving process.I know that I tell myself, there must have been something wrong with the baby in order for God to take it home like that. That all is not lost, the next one to come around will make it all the way through and be healthy and happy. Try to tell a grieving mother that. It won’t happen. I know this. I’ve been there.The dinner party was a welcome home to my parents, who’ve been away on an Alaskan Cruise for two weeks. I thought a BBQ with the family all gathered around would be the perfect welcome home. I missed them soo. I’ll have lot’s of pretty pictures for ya’ll to see later. Until, that phone call came. My eldest brother calling for mother, and there was something wrong. I am glad, at least, that the grieving grandparents were around so much family during a rough time, and hard news. I only wish that the parents of the lost child were so fortunate.I am at at a loss for what comes next. I am fearful for what the mother is putting herself through, the self blame, the saddness, the loss of hope. I just pray that Lioness can come through, get through to, and end the self hatred that follows such a loss. If anyone could, it would be her. She’s my hero.

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Tequila, rum, Cosmos, beer. Free flowing. Laughter, music, friends, family.Free flowing. Steak, home made potato salad, cheese dip, salsa, corn on the cob. Free flowing. Shake and stir. Add, one part miscarriage. Tears.Free flowing.Ok, so, someone is going to kill me for entering this in a public forum, but, this is how I am going to deal with the loss, so, DEAL WITH IT!My brother, eldest of the bunch, married last year, is suffering the worst pain one could ever suffer. His wife miscarried today. I cannot begin to explain the hurt that follows such a trauma, especially to those two. I have lost a child before, and although the Gods that be granted me three very healthy children, I do know of what they are going through. I just wish to God there were a magic eraser for this......My father, a man of few words and even fewer emotions, cried. All I could do is put my arms around him and hope that I was offering some sort of comfort during a time when there is none. I made the phone call I felt was necessary, and I began my own grieving process.I know that I tell myself, there must have been something wrong with the baby in order for God to take it home like that. That all is not lost, the next one to come around will make it all the way through and be healthy and happy. Try to tell a grieving mother that. It won’t happen. I know this. I’ve been there.The dinner party was a welcome home to my parents, who’ve been away on an Alaskan Cruise for two weeks. I thought a BBQ with the family all gathered around would be the perfect welcome home. I missed them soo. I’ll have lot’s of pretty pictures for ya’ll to see later. Until, that phone call came. My eldest brother calling for mother, and there was something wrong. I am glad, at least, that the grieving grandparents were around so much family during a rough time, and hard news. I only wish that the parents of the lost child were so fortunate.I am at at a loss for what comes next. I am fearful for what the mother is putting herself through, the self blame, the saddness, the loss of hope. I just pray that Lioness can come through, get through to, and end the self hatred that follows such a loss. If anyone could, it would be her. She’s my hero.

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